Sunday, December 20, 2009
SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)))))
Circuit driving at 3pm.
Saw Aden in the BBDC instructor car.
7 components, ALL DONE!!!!! :D
Met Aden at Gombak,
Suzuki new bike.
PICK UP - THUMBS UP*
Initially decided to head to East Coast for dinner.
BUT~~~~~~~~~~
RAINED-
So headed to JP's Dian Xiao Er for our dinner and hashima dessert.
DAMN DAMN DAMN FULL~
Saw a heels i love.
Aden bought a pair of ear rings for his bdae girl fren from HEART 2 HEART.
He sent me to ebu hse at Serangoon Nth.
Speeding at 150KM/H.
HOO-
Went to find Kel n family.
While waiting for YZ to come.
FISHES N FISHES~~~
I SERIOUSLY DONO WADS E CRAZE ALL ABT~~~~~~~~~~
:XXXXX
8.15pm.
Met up with YZ.
Went to Bishan.
Didnt get my starbucks coffee but bought some make up at WATSONS.
HEaded to SK, Compass Point for my starbucks.
Stayed up till 10.30pm.
Headed straight home.
9am road practice tml.
10.30am, meeting kel.
He need me to his advisor for his Malaysia trip on e 26th Dec.
Evening, meeting Gf.
She said she wil dote me til SIAOS~~
But definitely meeting CARTOONO~~~~
ZHU TING 23rd BDAE.
Tanjong Pagar, M BAR-
7 months ago....... :O
How hurtful to know that,
Actu e other time patching things up was a PLAN of yours to PLAY me.
Come to think of all things u done, lies u lied earlier on...
And me, stupidly still wanting to FORCE myself to accept everything.
CRIED like a bitch at PH, JUST FOR YOU,
When u r NOWHERE TO BE SEEN AT THAT POINT OF TIME.
CHASED YOU LIKE A MAD WOMAN,
DASHING THRU CROSS JUNCTIONS.
CUTS.
HEARTBREAKS.
TEARS.
AGONY.
Life must b good for you right now.
N i guess, IM AWAKE.
AWAKEN BY THE FACT THAT,
WE ARE THROUGH.
Finally this day arrived.
Upon knowing what you told my gf ytd at DBL'O.
I thought i will stil felt smth.
But...
I didnt anymore.
Now.
I pieced every bits and pieces up then i realised....
Whats your plot, your move, your actions....
SALUTE X10*
This love,
Sldnt even had started after I got back to my senses.
Im glad, we didnt went too far that we couldnt make a U-TURN back.
You're a man with homely love,
No doubt.
N that was waht attracted me most.
But...
The thought of you...
Could lied single for 4mths...
When you have 2 ladies by ur side...
Literally 1 of them,
Was the one that I have to face so often...
You could still told me,
IS SMALL FRY~~~~~~~~~
QUIT CLUBBING?~~~~~~~~~ A PILE OF SHIT PLEASE~~~~
U EXACTLY JUST LIED S MUCH S I LIED.
COULD STIL ACTU ASKED ONE OF MY FREN DOWN TO CLUB JUS BCOS WE QUARRELLED.
AND ME,
STUPIDLY BELIEF EVERY WORD.
ENDED UP I WAS THE LAST TO KNOW ALL THESE.
I SLD BE THE ONE ASKING.
WHATS MORE YOU HAVE DONE BHIND MY BACK?!
YOUR PROCLAIMED FAITHFULNESS.
YOUR PROCLAIMED CHANGED MAN.
I TIMER.
I PLAYED.
BUT I KNEW WHERE I STOOD.
JUST 2 WEEKS.
U ACTU.........................
AND WHEN I WAS BACK,
YOU COULD TAKE IT S NOTHING HAPPENED.
TILL I FELL IN,
THEN TRUTH CAME TO LIGHT.
NOW I NO LONGER FEEL A SLIGHT BIT OF SORRY TOWARDS YOU FOR TOYING U.
B4 I LIED.
YOU HAVE ALR TAKEN THIS LOVE FOR NOTHING.
TOWARDS YOU...
IRKS ME.
TOTAL TURNED OFF.
COMPLETELY.
I FEELLLLLLLLLL SO BAD THAT I SCOLDED MY OWN SPECIES FOR YOU.
NO WONDER SHE COULD ACTU SAID,
IF I WANNA BELIEF IN YOU,
THEN IS UP TO ME.
NOWWWWWWWWWW........
I KNOWWWWW WHYYYYYYYY
YOUR FRENS MIGHT BE THINKING IM CHEAP, EASY.
THINK IT BACK.
I NO LONGER FEEL SO.
YOU R JUST PLAIN LUCKY THAT U CAUGHT MY ACTIONS FIRST.
THATS ALL.
AND YOU STILL HAVE THE CHEEK TO SEND ME THAT FUCKING SONG THAT SEEMS TO BE ALL OF MY FAULT.
SO NOBLE OF YOU TO ACTU TELL EVERYBODY I WAS YOUR GREATEST LOVE, YEA?
A PILE OF SHIT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A PLAYER LIKE YOU,
WILL NEVER HAVE FEELINS AND REAL LOVE.
A PLAYER LIKE YOU,
WILL NEVER FIND TRUE LOVE.
THIS IS JUST E BEGINNING OF YOUR KARMA.
IM STILL GLAD I LEARNT THIS LESSON.
THAT LET ME REALLY OPENED MY EYES WIDE TO SEE HOW TERRIBLE GUYS ARE NOWADAYS.
THRU THIS INCIDENT,
I FOUND MY CIRCLE OF TRUEEST FRENS.
I STILL FIND IT SOOOOOOOOOOO STUPID TO ASK MY FRENS DRIVE ME TO UR PLACE AND MSG-ED YOU THOSE MSGES.
U'RE RIGHT MAN.
WE SLD JUST TAKE IT WE NEVERRRRRRR KNOWWWW EACH OTHER B4.
So many r/s.
U're the worst of all.
I didnt believed it.
Till my senses came thru me.
Please get attached soon man.
Im glad.
I didnt let those guy-frens of mine off bcos of you.
B'cos u aint worth me doing so.
For all i might know...
Your ladies empire...
Isnt as little as you described to me, either.
THANK GOD~
After I*L.
I still loves him.
But.
Im as determined s him to forget everything ASAP.
And, I dont wish to be in a R/s.
Shaun.
James.
Kelvin.
Aden.
Edwin.
Ken.
All and all knew my lies.
Im thankful we all are still besties. :D
I dont want to make any decision right now.
I dont want any committment, any status.
I just want my gf, frens, sisters.
Nd a break.
Nd time for myself.
Thats my closure for 2009.
To welcome a new year of 2010....
:P
New hair colour.
My license.
My dearest Niece.
Poly.
Gf, sisters and frens.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
A Saturday.
Lunch-ing at AMK hub Fish & Co with James.
Then realised his phone's wallpaper is me.
Is sweet, No doubt.
But...
I got this weird feeling thou.
Wonder whether is it too long,
Such thing is happenin to me after I*L.
3.30pm.
Went to take bus to Aunt hse at Serangoon Garden.
Read my suspense storybook throughout the bus journey.
Relatives all are there.
Is warm to know that Im not alone, afterall.
I have cousins who love me, aunts who dote me, uncles who pamer me.
Just kept eating today.
The day of dividing late grandma's wealth.
I miss her, really.
Movie at 7.30pm.
The Bodyguards and Assasins.
OH~~~~~~~~~ MY IDOL~~~ DONNIE YEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Movie with Wilson Tan.
138mins movie.
Supper-ed at Upper Thomson.
Bus back to clementi,
MY DEAR HOME* :)
Struggled with a decision to club anot actually with Sis and Gf at DBL'O.
Eventually,
Still headed home.
Cos' of tml circuit driving.
I feel the sudden pain.
Sudden.
Too abruptly.
I miss you.
IF you are here with me,
Will you be here with me?
I wondered.
Pondered.
How are you?
Where are you?
I*L
Friday, December 18, 2009
Met up with my darling feli at city hall.
Late for 30mins.
She bought me 6 donuts! ~ ( SWEETS* )
Headed to Marina Square for my Korean Lunch, her Yam paste, our donuts and my teh ice.
Next is her dental clinic at MS.
Gotten her braces colour cahnged due to the upcoming festive season. :)
Jiayi Sis Drove her BMW 3series to meet me and pass me my jacket and collect her $10 from me.
Feli n I headed to PS,
Walked to Heeren and took bus to Bugis.
We strolled ard.
AND SHE STOPPED ME FROM BUYIN A $10 TOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Took 960 to causeway point night market.
Had a late dinner.
HOME SWT HOME*
Tml is my family gathering at my uncle's penthouse at Enous.
Before that is James's lunch-ing.
After that will be Wilson's movie.
And then HOME SWT HOME*
Prepare for Sun 3pm last circuit driving b4 wed TP.
6days countdown~
Is nearly a week.
I walked the busiest town.
I never get to see you, anymore.
Tell me,
this isnt the final ending.
Tell me,
Your heart is still beating for me.
Tell me,
My tears still drop for a reason.
Which is you.
I*L.
23days since you left.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
What a day!!~~
Met up with daddy at YEW TEE to done up some matters in the bank,
Headed to Xin Wang Cafe and wait for Mummy,
due to her washing machine la~~~ ARGHS*
We 3 had a GREATTTTTT time tgt at Xin Wang.
Headed to Causeway Point to see see look look at mummy's D&D night dress.
Went to METRO and picked a few for Mummy.
Tried and Tried~
FINALLY~~~~
FOUND ONE!!!!
Is indeed v beautiful. :)
Gotten myself a GIANTIC EEYORE from daddy and mummy for christmas present.
Dad n Mum actu had signed on it as an memento. :D
LOVES LOVES LOVES~
Headed to MRT station at 4.30pm.
Having circuit driving at 5pm.
The last 4th lesson b4 23rd Dec.
Circuit.
Everything went fine,
BUTTTTTTTT
Turning just sucks!!
:(
BAD BAD BAD~
Headed to ebu hse at serangoon north.
Met up with kelvin for western dinner and my hashima dessert.
Purposely took train down,
thought I got the right timing,
hopefully can get the chance to catch a glimpse of you in train.
It was only 6.30pm.
Couldnt spot you.
Msg-ed you,
No reply.
Illegal driving from serangoon to woodlands to practise turning.
ESP RIGHT BEND turning.
At least I got the grip of it now.
:X
Took train home with my EEYORE from Woodlands.
Reached home b4 curfew time - 11.30pm. :)
Chatted with Gf on the phone.
Msn-ing, open bill - ** SHOCKED **
3am , Korean MASK.
Tml will be meeting my felicia baby at City Hall,
Acc her to her dental appt cos of her BRACES.
After 6pm,
Vivo Club Marc....
My JACKET!!!!!
WOOHOO~
DINNER~~~
Home swt home~ :D
Just realised.
I still love you so much.
Still worried.
Still cried.
Still longed.
Still miss.
Is still you.
I*L
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Im back to blog since 4mths back.
I have finally put aside the happy, painful, tearful memories of the double D's which I clinged on for a very long time.
Which I'm happy, I have done it.
Away with one, came another one.
A special one, indeed.
Cant be possibly flooding all GFs of mine with continuously with this guy who stolen my heart, up till now.
So im back to blog all feelings for this particular guy and is gonna be deeper compared to the Double D's.
Every trace of my feelings n love, hopefully, will end as the time frame I set for myself thou I knew he will never be back, no matter what Im going to do.
For this healing period, I'm going to name it as The Regrets ; I&D
Literally, this love wasnt even suppose to start.
But still, it started just like a spark in a club on a Fri night.
When I had given it my all, When i could just give up all, he failed to see it.
When I have to cry and asked, in what ways didnt I done enough towards him or this love.
When I have to hold back all tears for all wrongs he done, and left eventually.
It just wasnt suppose to happen like this.
Gullible me, believed every word you said.
I gave up.
U came back, asking for another chance.
N while the period b4 you were back,
When I was still healing myself, blaming myself for nt doing enough.
Theres this ideal man came abt.
In btw you n him, I hold on.
Hold on till a point of time,
I had alr forgotten who am I timer-ing.
Till the very last scenario of a opera drama...
Everything was exposed.
I lost it all, in a night.
It was then, I realised, who i reali love.
But everything was too late to amend all scars I inflicted to U, Him and myself.
Memories came flooding by.
My lies, my selfishness indulged me into making such mistake in losing you.
After all and all that ever happened,
I knew wheres my mistake.
I Wasnt so determined b4 that I wanna change, at least this is for you.
I plucked up the very first courage to send you a regard msg at the wee hours.
The next day, 071209
Happy 3rd month.
We msg-ed.
The feeling was so close yet so far.
The next day,
Misses was so so so overwhleming that I msg-ed you.
I walked back the route towards your hse.
2 weeks since I ever walked.
I sat at the place when we both could chat till 2am plus.
U came down.
I saw you.
The charismatic you when I spotted you in REBEL.
We talked it thru, cleared it all.
It seems like a breakthrough for me that at least, in future I wont be facing down on e ground if i were to bump to u in streets.
Player played player.
Thats e definition, isnt it?
It blurs me that your heart is open to forgive and nt revenge.
Again, is you who sent me home.
1st time, your tears dropped.
It flowed down to ur cheeks.
It breaks my heart.
Last wed.
With so much facts thgat i couldnt accept,
I done smth which is way out from myself.
I lost myself.
I became so irrational.
I lost you, again.
Sat afternoon,
I done it all i could.
My heart longs for another chance that despite with asthma relaspe,
I still chased you all the way from Outram to Chinatown point.
Never once i let my heart out like this and dashed across roads.
Finally you spoken.
U said you will give me this chance and you to forget this incident.
An incident that I lost myself irrationally, which u failed to take it into consideration.
Your back, still against me.
So much so much you have said.
SO much so much I have asked you back.
Your stand is firm.
And, my stand is firm too.
Is my heart that I have to account to.
You have forced your heart to forget all we had gone thru.
3rd mth present is still with me.
I will keep doin till my heart left.
You must have a gd time with all ladies you have now.
I learnt to love my lover.
And not seperate a lover n a provider.
I leanrt to be truthful till e very end and nt lied.
I learnt that...
I still loves you despite all that had happened.
SOmetime it takes more courage to let go than to hold on.
Is just a 2mth++ relationship.
But im giving myself 6mths.
You will get attached soon tgt with your gf to celebrate Christmas.
Whenever I hear news about you,
My heart still aches.
Very badly.
YCK, NYP, AMK...
How to forget?
If your love can be so eaisly transferred to another girl in such a short time,
What more can I do other than ranting all emotions here?
You're still the greatest love that I ever met after DOuble D's.
Wont delete the videos I recorded.
Wont delete pics we took tgt.
WILL NEVER TAKE YOU OUT OF MY HEART.
Still misses you.
Very deeply.
I LOVE YOU.
